I am not a fan of hunting. I love animals, especially mammals and birds; I can’t even kill a mouse. But I eat meat, so I have no high moral podium from which to preach. Hunted animals probably live better lives than the animals that I eat despite their “humanely raised” designation.

It is also easy to see the value of hunting. All that you need is to compare my previous hometown of Morristown, NJ to the Eastern Shore.

Due to suburban sprawl, there is no hunting in that area of NJ; and the impact on wildlife is devastating.

Lacking predators (except cars), deer have devoured the landscape. The natural woodland undergrowth has been decimated. Landscape plantings are limited to three mediocre deer-resistant bushes, a handful of annuals and a half dozen ferns and perennials. Anyone who attempts to go outside these species must enclose their garden within a 6’ high spiked fence. We tried all manner of preventatives: sprays, human hair, even dogs; but nothing worked.

The deer stare us down when we run toward them. A deer herd stomped my neighbor’s miniature poodle to death. Desperate, my husband and I tried paint guns; but the yellow and blue splattered deer continued to savor our carefully crafted landscape. Our adopted German Shepherd kept them at bay until we went on vacation. We returned to an empty landscape.

Our health was also impacted, I had Lyme disease three times, my daughter twice, and my husband once.

In NJ, the Canada geese no longer migrate and have produced a carpet of excrement in all parks, golf courses, and playgrounds. Canada geese attack anyone who goes near their nest. Ecologists have tried coating their eggs with oil; only to discover after several weeks they just laid more eggs.

One of the first things that I noticed when I moved to the Eastern Shore was the different behavior of wildlife. On the Eastern Shore, they quickly retreat when alerted to humans.

Hunting serves to keep the population down; and it creates what scientists call a Landscape of Fear. Apex predators alter the behavior of their prey, preventing overgrazing and encroachment while reducing fertility rates. Hunters, the Eastern Shore’s apex predators, control both population and ecosystems.

Fall is approaching and soon the deer and wild turkey that I occasionally spy will retreat to their hiding places. And the sharp crack and boom of powerful guns will occasionally rip through the cool air. And I am grateful that everyone doesn’t see the world through my lens.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

I am a fixer…I like to help people fix their problems.

A noble goal, but it also has a consequence. I am a bad listener. While listening, my brain is formulating possible solutions and cataloging problems into solution piles. Often, I don’t wait for the person to finish before interrupting with a solution.

I have tried to compensate by using the tool of repeating what I heard and getting clarification that I had it right. Helpful, yes, but it neglects the fundamental importance of listening. Listening allows someone to feel heard on their terms in their sphere. When I repeat the problem back to them, I am actually translating their problem into my language…and in any translation something is lost.

Many times, the solution is to simply to listen.

“Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of the other person. You listen with only one purpose, help him or her to empty his heart and suffer less.” Thich Nhat Hanh. (Thich Nhat Hanh is a renown Buddhist monk and prolific author about mindfulness and social activism.)

Deep listening (also called compassionate listening) allows the person to talk through his feelings and form his or her own solutions.

My daughter taught me the importance of deep listening. One time she called me very angry, and I started to offer suggestions and she stopped me. “Mom, I just need to vent. I will figure this out on my own; but I just need to express my frustrations to someone.”

Compassionate listening can be hard, it is difficult to hear someone being emotional without offering assistance. It takes a lot of restraint to listen when I disagree. And when I disagree, it can be difficult to summon empathy and compassion to recognize that they are hurting.

But when I can do it successfully, the person can move toward their own solution with an unburdened heart and a confidence that someone out there understands them. Here are some tips to deep listening.

1. Don’t try to fix the problem or give advice unless specifically asked. They need empathy, not advice.
2. Be patient, sometimes the speakers don’t understand what their own issue is, and even though it is obvious to you, it is not to them. They need to come to the realization themselves. Silence and patience give them their voice.
3. If the problem includes you or someone that you love, don’t get defensive. This can be hard, but these are their feelings even if you don’t agree. When their problems are with me, I respond that I can hear and understand how they feel; without agreeing with it.

Deep listening is one of the hardest tasks for a problem solver; it takes time, it takes patience. But when I can do it, it is more effective than any solution that I can propose.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

I am not a lucky person. My friends ask my advice for products and services so that they can make a different choice. Even my husband got into the act. Countless times I have heard “this never breaks” or “this has never happened before.” If it can break, it will.  I had a root canal on the wrong tooth.

But on the important things, I have been incredibly lucky. I had a long and loving marriage, I have a healthy daughter, I have wonderful friends and family.  So, I don’t pay a lot of attention to my “bad luck.” But I take precautions. I purchase the extended warranty, I keep extra pump and spray bottles (to replace defective ones), I try to avoid optional surgeries (more about that later), and I don’t waste my money on games of chance.

But as I am getting ready for a surgery to fix a botched Lasik, I started to wonder.  Is there such a thing as luck?

Well, it depends on your perspective.  Many believe that luck is probability taken personally. As a statistician, I am a big believer in probability.  One of the most common errors in judgement is the gambler’s fallacy, which is a non-Bayesian approach (e.g., what is the probability that you will get “heads” on a fair coin if you have gotten “tails” for the last 10 times…the answer, 50%). From this viewpoint, “bad luck” is merely focusing on bad events and “good luck” is counting the good ones.

Many traditional practices, such as voodoo and hoodoo, have strong beliefs in luck and superstition. Religions teach that third parties can influence an individual’s luck, such as saints or ancestors. Shamans and witches are believed to cause good or bad fortune. In some cultures, certain numbers are lucky (7 for Christians; 8 for Chinese). Buddhism, on the other hand, emphatically believes that luck does not exist because all things that happen must have a cause.

Psychologist Richard Wiseman studied the phenomenon of luck and determined that good fortune is mostly attitude. “Lucky” people were more open-minded, smiling, and easy-going, while those who perceived themselves to be “unlucky” were more anxious and felt that they were unfairly “treated.”

Based on his research he developed a prescription for good luck:

1. Maximize opportunities. Lucky people often change their daily routine making them open to new opportunities.
2. Listen to hunches and your body’s reaction. Lucky people indicated that they listened to the little voice in their head.
3. Expect good luck. Lucky people expect to win.

So, I am following his advice…hey you never know, maybe I’ll buy a lottery ticket.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

Those of us who grew up on the Eastern Shore remember the canneries. For almost 100 years, canneries dominated the Eastern Shore. By the early 1930s canneries employed half of the male population on the Eastern Shore. Women had roles too, peeling tomatoes. and filling cans Canneries offered reliable work under harsh conditions, processing peas, green beans, lima beans, peaches, cherries, seafood, meat, and corn. But on the Eastern Shore, tomatoes were king. (A video history of the canning industry is available from the Preston Historical Society.)

Canneries also spawned trucking and shipping businesses.

The depression signaled the demise of most canneries, the few that remained gradually dwindled away. Local canneries couldn’t compete with California’s 365 day growing season or weather the declining prices for canned goods. Workers demanded better working conditions and higher wages. Environmental protection regulations required proper waste disposal instead of dumping waste directly into streams or ravines. Cannery owners were caught in a vicious cycle, unable to compete profitably, they could not afford to invest in technology to make their canneries profitable.

Now, there are hints of change…no, the canneries will not come back to the way that they were, but changes in consumer tastes may present an opportunity. Younger consumers are environmentally conscientious and prefer high quality, local products.  Can the Eastern Shore take advantage of this trend?

I recently talked to Steward Enterprises, https://gosteward.com/ a crowd-farming funding source for food hubs, equipment, and small farmers. CEO Daniel Miller, who has an MBA from Wharton has a passion for the Eastern Shore. (Full Disclosure: Dan Miller was the co-founder of Fundrise, the largest crowdfunding real estate company. He is also my nephew.)

With its rich soil, dedicated farmers, highway system, and proximity to large metropolitan markets, Talbot County is an ideal location for a food hub. Those of us lucky enough to live here are rewarded with local produce stands and farmers’ markets.  But our location offers even more opportunities. We have a local branding, Chesapeake Harvest, which has been nurtured by the Easton Economic Development Corporation under the leadership of Tracy Ward.

The goal of food hubs is to help local farmers by combining produce and providing logistics support: food prep, distribution, markets, food storage, etc. Combining yields gives farmers access to larger markets.

As Ryan Anderson of Steward, explained, food hubs not only provide logistics support, but also support the development of processed foods such as canned goods. For example, Spike Gjerde of Woodbury Kitchens (who has agreed to participate) encouraged local farmers on the western shore to grow fish peppers, an heirloom pepper. Using this rare pepper, he created a locally popular Snake Oil Hot Sauce.

Steward Enterprises applied for a grant to do a feasibility study for a food hub in Talbot County.  This food hub would support organic and traditional produce farmers and provide a commercial kitchen for entrepreneurs to rent space to create and distribute new products.

This new type of food hub is in the most nascent of stages; it requires funding for a feasibility study and collaboration with farmers, local leaders, local growers, and state agencies.

Targeting younger buyers who favor regional over mass produced products, even a local canned product is possible. That’s right, maybe someday, we might start to have small canneries.

It is too soon to know if this will happen. Food Hubs are notoriously tricky to implement, there is often opposition to change, insufficient supply (local supermarkets and restaurants are clamoring for regional products), capital, and logistical challenges. The only way to proceed is through a laborious collaborative approach with traditional farmers, entrepreneurial farmers, local government bureaus, and local leadership.

But I can dream.  After all, there are over 250 food hubs in the United States…wouldn’t it be cool if the Mid-Shore could join this movement?

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

I got a call a couple of months ago.

“I am sorry, ma’am, but the carpenters accidentally threw away your dishwasher. You will have to order a new one.”

Here is some context. While I was away, I renovated my old kitchen and replaced ancient appliances. The dishwasher was not one of the old appliances. I had just bought it. But three weeks into the renovation, it found its way into a dumpster and was hauled away. It was an accident, no one meant for it to happen, but it did.

And this incident reminded me of a simple fact of life. Life is not about what happens to you…it is about how you respond to what happens to you.

I imagined my old self. Getting angry, demanding to know how this happened. Demanding that it be fixed immediately. Perhaps a “why me” moment.

But my new self knew that it was just an accident. My new dishwasher got put in the wrong pile. No one wanted it to happen.

And that is life. Many things that happened in our lives were not something that we wanted to happen.

They just did.

And our character has grown from how we adjusted to these things that just happen. Some call it wisdom. Others call it perspective. But I see it as the necessary learning on life’s journey.

Life isn’t about what happens to us…it is about learning from what happens to us. Life is about becoming less self-centric and seeing the broader picture and yes, recognizing that those who did it are as human as I am. Recognizing that the contractor did not want to make that call; nor did he want to tell me that it would further delay an already much delayed renovation. I knew that he felt bad about it, the carpenter and workmen who did it also felt bad about it.

My response. First, I needed time to get past my reactive self, so I made up an excuse and told him that I would call him back.

Then I reflected how this was a minor incident compared to what I have had to deal with. I reflected how lucky that I am that I can replace my old appliances. I know that in the grand scheme of my life this really doesn’t matter.

My new self called him back.

“I’ll pick out a new one on the appliance company’s website and let you know.”

Thank you, maturity.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

“I am glad that I am old.”

It was an odd and surprising comment from my 80+ year old friend. She is the most upbeat and positive person that I know. She has triumphed over adversities throughout her life by focusing on the silver lining. To her, behind every dark corner is a bright opportunity. She has been my role model.

My friend is also a lifelong Republican with solid Midwestern values who recently abandoned her party when Trump became its leader.

“I don’t want to live in the world that we are leaving,” she continued. “There is so much anger here, I am heartbroken that women will probably lose their right to choose, I can’t understand the rise in white supremacy.”

She continued. “I was a Rockefeller Republican, fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I didn’t think that my party’s core values of independence would allow them to take away women’s rights or curtail voting. We now have the worst of both parties, socially conservative Republicans and fiscally irresponsible Democrats.”

She sighed. “But most of all, it is the environment. I would not want to live in the world that is coming; climate change, population explosion, it may already be too late.”

We never discussed politics and after the conversation, I felt somewhat fearful. This was a person who could find a silver lining when she was told that she was going to lose her eyesight!

Looking for something to take my mind off our conversation, I turned on a NOVA program about electric airplanes.

It may not be widely known that airplanes are among our worst polluters…even creating cirrus clouds to increase the greenhouse effect. However, this program featured entrepreneurs who are creating innovative solutions to solve the problem. From electric helicopters that average citizens can drive, to small electric planes that can deliver packages and people; there are a myriad of ideas and innovations. Other innovators are proposing hybrid solutions to reduce emissions; while another team is adding electric fans to reduce the wing size to save fuel. Still another company has been working for 13 years to produce hydrogen powered planes whose waste emission is water. And finally, NASA is creating a blueprint for lanes for small planes, helicopters, and hybrids to fly alongside commercial aviation. Most of the innovators are US based companies.

These innovations are years away. The planes look like the early cars, funny looking vehicles that can be remotely piloted or carry a small family without endangering themselves or the environment.

And once again, science and entrepreneurship are trying to rescue us…and after the COVID 19 vaccine, I have faith that there is no problem that science and these young entrepreneurs can’t solve.

Then I was reminded of something that my grandfather said. “Always bet on this country.”

We are a nation of innovators with a strong independent and confident streak. Yea, I’ll bet on this country, too.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

I still wear a face mask.

I may be the only vaccinated person who wears one.

I don’t care.

This year, I enjoyed an unprecedented cold- and flu-free year. The first in my lifetime.

What else is gone? Hugs. I am not a hugger, probably something to do with my German heritage; but I feel uncomfortable with close physical contact; especially from casual acquaintances. Thanks to COVID 19, I have a ready excuse for refusing without offending huggers.

An Inconvenient Fact: Hugging releases Oxytocin (which makes us feel happy) and is considered by Mental Health professionals to be an important human connection. They also believe that those who reject hugging have issues.

Like many people, my immune system is more effective at attacking me than a virus. In the past, I suffered considerably from attending or hosting parties where an attendee was sick (“oh it’s just a little cold!”); presuming that I would either not be infected or that it would be mild (neither was true).

Tired of the continual infections and the autoimmune responses they triggered, I eventually left parties when a guest was sick, and asked infected invitees not to attend my parties. This was not well received, and I was judged harshly and criticized. Not anymore!

It feels so good not to be sick. The mask provides a socially acceptable way of reducing the risk of illness. Of course, we were lucky that COVID 19 was not airborne as many masks do not protect us from airborne viruses. Still, with my mask, I have a better chance of not getting sick!

This year, I have been able to avoid travel, which requires boarding my dogs, packing a pharmacy, staying in a hotel, flying, driving and all manner of labor intensive tasks. I can catch up with my friends and family via Zoom in the comfort of my own home with my furry companions close by.

My mask means that I no longer have to apologize for not wanting to get sick. I don’t have to apologize for not wanting to hug. I don’t have to apologize for not visiting.

So, for those of us who are susceptible to illness, do not enjoy close physical contact with virtual strangers, enjoy traffic free roads, and the comforts of our homes; this has been a welcome vacation.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

Most of us want to be special. We want to be able to stick our heads out above the crowd.

Some choose to do it by name dropping. Others choose to be special by regaling us about their careers, an Ivy League education, advanced degrees, getting elected, or travel. These can be interesting; if there are interesting or amusing anecdote associated with them.

Here is one. When I was a graduate student, I was ignored by my professors and my peers. After I received my PhD; to my amazement, when I spoke the room went quiet and people turned to listen. Just a few days before, I was another obscure, obnoxious graduate student struggling to be heard, and then with a piece of paper, all of a sudden, I was special.

Others use their children to differentiate themselves. Their child is a gifted (fill in the blank).

I was disabused of this early in my parenting career. My daughter learned to walk at 8 ½ months. She wasn’t very good at it and fell constantly. But this tiny girl who only came up to my knee would turn heads.

When I took my daughter to the pediatrician for her nine month checkup; the doctor motioned to the nurse to take my daughter to another room and began questioning me about my stress level and discipline strategy. I was pleased that she cared enough to make sure that I was okay. It wasn’t until she began asking about my daughter’s bruises that I realized that she was concerned that my daughter was being abused.

I proudly announced that my daughter was walking. Whereupon the doctor asked the nurse to bring her in and my daughter demonstrated her walking skills even trying to climb on chairs.

Satisfied that my daughter was not being abused, she proceeded with the checkup. But I was looking for to be different and special; so, I asked.

“What does this mean that my daughter is walking so early?”

The doctor looked up, “It means that she is walking at nine months old.”

I had convinced myself that it had to be more significant. I imagined that perhaps it was my awesome genes or maybe my superior parenting that had produced such an advanced child. So, thinking that the pediatrician misunderstood me, I persisted.

“She has actually been walking for several weeks now. No child I know has ever walked this young. Could it mean that she is very smart or a gifted athlete?” I couldn’t stop myself. “I mean, this is really special.”

I waited for the doctor to tell me that I had produced a genius.

Instead, the doctor looked up at me and sighed. “It means that she is an early walker, that is all.”

I couldn’t give up my potential moment of glory. “But it must mean something, it must prognosticate some early development.”

She leveled a weary gaze at me (clearly tired of parents foreseeing future glory) and said emphatically. “It means that she walked at 8 ½ months, that’s all.”

Oh well, so much for reflected glory.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.

Ahh, Spring, and this is a special Spring because we missed the last one. And during Spring our hearts turn to love. For those of us who are single, it often means getting onto a dating website. Periodically I join a paid dating site…then I quit. I have met some nice people, but nothing that makes me want to change my life.

When a woman of my age joins these websites, we can be assured that most of our potential suitors will be “catfishers.” While many of them are clever and keep me in the conversation until I catch on. This latest one is so bad, that I had to share it. (Also, I need material for a column.)

There are many ways to spot a “catfisher” and often they are online all the time and they talk about how beautiful you are. They rarely answer a question. The best way to get rid of one is to ask for a Zoom meeting.

So, for all of you voyeurs out there, here is a transcript from my most recent “suitor.”

Suitor’s “Profile”: He is a widower, about 10 years my junior, average looking, has a PhD, and lives in Annapolis.

My “Suitor”: Hello There, how are you today? what an elegance of beauty. you wear a gorgeous smile . I’m Peter, your profile piqued my interest too and am keen on getting acquainted with you , i believe we can share more interest together to see how much we have in common , soon stay blessed and beautiful. Peter.

What I Think: Oh Good Lord, knowing English would be a good start.

What I Say: It is good to hear from you, you sound very interesting. What does brutally honest and passionate mean?

(That is what something that he said on his website.)

My “Suitor”: so happy to get a response from you. It means totally submissive to honesty and passionate. what do you believe it takes to build a wonderful relationship? .for me I believe that the combination of communication, trust and mutual respect is the key in any successful relationship, and you have to find someone who is on same journey with you, and is ready to compromise or disagree to agree lol , although nothing can survive without attraction and chemistry.

What I Think: This nonsense is hard to read, but I am desperate for material.

What I Say: That is so nice, but I think that you might want a younger woman.

My “Suitor” I really do appreciate your time in responding to my text, I want you to know some few points about me, I am an Engineer, I specialized on building and construction, am an independent man who loves his job and plans well for the future and I’m in search for a lovely woman who will forever remain my life partner as well as growing old together. I don’t mind about the age. I feel okay with you.

What I Think: Will he ever answer a question? But I want to string this on a little longer (at least it keeps him from “catfishing” others.)

What I Say: Annapolis is such a beautiful town, are you a sailor?

My “Suitor” I’m not a sailor, I believe in respect. So if you don’t have self respect how can you respect others, am calm reserved and I have a big heart ,always caring of others, i love to be around nature , i have a great sense of humor, am very hardworking, . outgoing, get along with just about everyone, i have a personal relationship with God and i put him first in all i do. I love to try everything at least once! I believe you sometimes have to take chances in life. My favorite time of the the year is summer, beaches, golfing vacations. am extremely passionate and very romantic. am the kind of guy that always does his best to put a smile on the face of his woman cause i will always treat her like a queen she is with so much love and respect. I truly want to find a best friend. Someone to share all the little things that matter the most . I’m far from perfect and can’t claim to be. I believe in being nice and expect the same. I have been told that I have a great personality. I love to make people laugh. I love to cook . When I say cook I’m talking about meals that you would pay outrageous prices for .

What I Think: This guy isn’t even trying; I should be insulted that he has put so little effort into this. I think that he is stringing random words together. But I am going to try one more time to see what he is up to. Then I will report him.

What I Say: That sounds lovely. So what are our next steps? I am a little old fashioned and like the man to take charge.

What I Think: Of course, anyone who knows me knows that this is NOT TRUE.

My “Suitor” I’m good looking and i can represent. I Enjoy life to the fullest! Outgoing people, love to be outdoors, bowling, dominoes, cards, bque’s, the beach, travel, festivals, movies, as well as a quiet evening at home. Ideal Woman is outgoing, carefree, great sense of humor, hard working, loves his friends and family, and have common interest. I can be a bit of a smart azz at times but its all in good fun. Look at life as the glass half full. Positive outlook on life is very important to me. Life is a beautiful thing! Should be treated as such. Have been very blessed with a beautiful 2 kids. I have some of the best friends a man can have. Took some time out for myself. Now I’m ready for that special someone to share my life with. Could you be the one, such a cheesy line huh LOL!!

What I Think: I give up…time to report him.

Thus ends my word salad suitor.

Gotta love the Internet, you can always find good material.

Angela Rieck, a Caroline County native, received her PhD in Mathematical Psychology from the University of Maryland and worked as a scientist at Bell Labs, and other high-tech companies in New Jersey before retiring as a corporate executive. Angela and her dogs divide their time between St Michaels and Key West Florida. Her daughter lives and works in New York City.