I am loving the idea of the first “second gentleman” of the United States.  And I think Doug Emhoff is the perfect man to fill that role. Here’s why. 

Emhoff, a 56-year-old Jewish lawyer, appears to be totally comfortable in his own skin.  Unthreatened by Kamala Harris’s success, he supports her 100 percent. It’s the most refreshing attitude ever. It’s also refreshing that he is only two weeks older than she is—no 24-year difference here! (Emhoff also will be the first second spouse to have a surname differing from the Vice President.)

When Harris was running for president, Emhoff became good friends with the other spouses of fellow candidates, especially Pete Buttigieg’s spouse Chasten.  He came off as a genuinely nice guy with a great sense of humor. When Harris gave up her race for president, Emhoff’s tweet, “I’ve got you.  As always” went viral.  He has been there for her in defeat and success. 

When Harris was nominated for Vice President, Emhoff was thrilled.  He campaigned sometimes with her, sometimes without her, and sometimes with Jill Biden.  He seemed to enjoy all roles—extolling her virtues and explaining why she was the right woman for the job.  His campaign stops included LGBT venues and Jewish venues, and his rising popularity earned him more than 600,000 Twitter followers.

Emhoff took a leave of absence from his job when Biden appointed Harris as his running mate and plans to resign formally from DLA Piper where he has worked since 2017 to take the second gentleman role full-time. Obviously, women have been quitting their jobs to follow their men for ages, so there is a certain irony in his doing so receiving such fanfare. Still he seems excited about the opportunity and jazzed about being able to make a difference.  

One of Emhoff’s roles will be to convene lunches for the senators’ spouses. That should prove to be interesting material.  I can’t help but recall the brouhaha regarding Hillary when she was asked about her high-powered career when Clinton was running in the Democratic primary.  Hillary responded, “You know I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was to fulfill my profession which I entered before my husband was in public life.”  The uproar was immediate. Her comments were considered derogatory towards stay-at-home moms and catapulted her into controversy.

Emhoff has announced that since he is a lawyer and familiar with the judicial system, he will make one of his major initiatives criminal justice reform, ensuring access to justice and legal representation for all.  

Kamala is friends with Emhoff’s first wife, Kerstin Emhoff, a filmmaker and head of Prettybird, a production company which she co-founded. Harris also claims to have great relationships with Emhoff’s two children, Cole and Ella, named after jazz legends John Coltrane and Ella Fitzgerald. Such camaraderie needs to be commended in today’s world of vitriol-spreading banter among exes.  Harris has described their modern family as “almost a little too functional.”

When asked by a nine-year- old boy in an online “Ask a Grown-up” session what he plans to do, Emhoff replied, “I’m going to support her because it’s really important for men and even young boys to support the strong and wonderful women in their lives, and I’m going to do that, and I hope you do that too.” 

My case rests. Having an evolved non-threatened man as second gentleman is a gift indeed.  Let’s hear it for the evolved male. God knows, the world needs more of them.    

Maria Grant was Principal-in-Charge of the Federal Human Capital practice of Deloitte Consulting. Since her retirement, she has focused on writing, piano, travel, gardening, and nature. 

 

In the movie Wall Street, Michael Douglas said, “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.”  He went on to make the point that greed “captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all its forms: greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind.”  

Donald Trump has been quoted as saying, “The point is that you can’t be too greedy.”  And, he has said, “My whole life I’ve been greedy, greedy, greedy. I’ve grabbed all the money I could get. I’m so greedy. But now I want to be greedy for the United States. I want to grab all that money. I’m going to be greedy for the United States. “

 After an election such as the one we just experienced, it’s important to reflect on just what kind of country we’ve become. The fact is that 48 percent of the US population voted for Donald Trump. Despite what we know about Trump’s character, his aversion to truth, his crude and base statements about others, his lack of empathy for those who have fallen ill or died from the pandemic, many of us held our noses and voted for him. Why?

I contend that greed is a big reason—not the only reason—but a big reason. When I ask my Republican friends how they can overlook this man’s character, his lies, his crude behavior and vote for him, they say things like. “I don’t like to pay one cent more in taxes.”  “I don’t believe in open borders.”  “Foreigners are taking our jobs.” 

Many of these comments have an element of greed in them. It’s the, “I worked hard for my money, and I don’t want the government or other intruders into my space to take it away” mentality.  Perhaps I’m oversensitive to this thinking, but this is depressing. We are so afraid that if someone else wins, we will lose. 

Trump convinced many of us that if we voted for him, we too could share in the “greed” that has worked for him. We too could “gild the lily” and wallow in conspicuous consumption. Even his promise to save the suburbs was in essence about greed.  Basically, he was saying if you vote for me, you won’t have to share your suburbs—your nice parks, your good schools. Your property values won’t go down. I will put my arms around you and keep them from harm. No need to share.  

And then there was the “America First” theme. Is that really the focus America should have? Yes, we must establish fair trade agreements so that America gets her fair share. But it’s also important that we, as the leader of the free world, set a good example by promoting peaceful solutions and encouraging environmentally sound and helpful policies that lift all nations. 

In Trump’s glory days as a businessman, he leveraged himself to the hilt and kept buying more and more properties, each one glitzier and more ostentatious than the next. Many of us see that as the sign of a successful businessperson. Ironically, he built those buildings on the backs of immigrants—many of them illegal. 

Trump isn’t alone in the “greed” grab. Think about the many businesses that seek to line their pockets by pandering to accomplish whatever administration’s “hot buttons” are so that they too can benefit from them. There is a good reason that Fairfax and Montgomery counties are some of the wealthiest in the country.  There is nothing wrong with trying to make an honest buck by providing solutions to government priorities. But consider businesses and lobbyists who criticize reasonable regulations that keep people and the environment safe simply because it costs them money and eats away at a percentage of their profits.  Thomas Jefferson once said, “Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor.”   

And the US isn’t alone in the big grab. Clearly Great Britain’s Brexit movement illustrated that same attitude. Many Brits didn’t want immigrants invading their country and sucking up all the government healthcare and other services and insisting “legitimate” Brits pay the tab.  

Most countries in the world are guilty of bad behavior at one time or another. Many of them have owned up to it and taken steps forward to improve.  Many of them also have taken a few steps backward before going forward again in their journeys. Other countries are well aware of past bad behavior in the US.  Still they admired much about our democracy, our ingenuity, our moral compass, and our willingness to help other countries that suffer in some way. 

That respect for America has steadily dwindled over the last four years. This administration has shown the ugly underbelly of the US time and time again. According to Pew Research, other countries’ favorable view of the US is the lowest it has been in the 20 years since the Center began its polling. Favorable ratings in the United Kingdom are at 41 percent; in France, we’re at 31 percent and 26 percent in Germany. We are seen as shallow, selfish, racist and greedy. Clearly, we have taken more than one step backward in our quest for a “better union.”

We all know JFK’s familiar inspirational quote that challenged Americans to commit to a larger vision, “Ask not what your country can do for you–ask what you can do for your country.” That concept of what can each of us do to make the US a better place is on the back burner. It’s my hope that it once again becomes front and center.     

And let’s be honest. You don’t need to become a socialist to be willing to share. There is such a thing as responsible capitalism that governs with decency, compassion, fairness and heart. 

Maria Grant served as Principal-in-Charge of the Federal Human Capital practice of Deloitte Consulting.  Since her retirement, she has focused on writing, the piano, reading, travel, gardening and nature.

 

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Political pundits claimed that Hillary Clinton lost the election because of her comments about “deplorables.” Specifically, Hillary said that half of Trump’s supporters belong in a “basket of deplorables” characterized by “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic” views. Trump capitalized on that theme during the final month before the 2016 election. He made it clear that Hillary didn’t care about a huge segment of America. Instead she found them “deplorable.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about that word. The fact is many “deplorable” things are going on in America right now. Perhaps some would call these occurrences by another name. But if we are honest, we would own up to this reality. Let’s just review some items on that list of deplorable actions. 

First, make no mistake about it. It is deplorable to separate children from their parents at the border and put them in cages. It just is. The fact that 545 children cannot be rejoined with their parents is an unconscionable dereliction of duty on the part of the United States. Some of these children were babies when they were separated and have been without their parents for more than two years.

Second, it is deplorable to speak about women in misogynistic terms. Comments made recently about Kamala Harris are beyond the pale. Disagreeing with her political views is one thing. Personal comments about her are quite something else. Recently, posts have questioned whether she’s really an American citizen and qualified to run for President. Some question whether a Jamaican and an Indian qualifies as being Black. Others claim that she slept her way to the top. Still others question her competence, including the President of the United States, who also has called Harris a monster. He seems to have a major problem with powerful women whom he does not control. 

Third, the hate groups on both sides—Antifa, the Proud Boys and others– are deplorable. Inciting violence and stoking hatred is never a good idea. In fact, it is a deplorable way to act. It is the opposite of what John Lewis would call “good trouble.” Rather it is bad trouble that should have no place in our society.  

Fourth, Trump jumped all over Biden’s comments about curtailing the oil industry during the last debate. He attempted to stoke the “Biden will tank the economy” fires, claiming that Biden would cause mass unemployment in states like Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, and Texas. To my way of thinking, it’s deplorable if we don’t make efforts as a nation to reduce pollution and create new ways to get the job done using renewable energy. It’s deplorable that we worry only about short-term optics and not the future of our environment. Why is the United States government continuing to subsidize fossil fuels at all? Already oil companies see the writing on the wall, and the smart ones are taking steps to migrate in that direction. To not do so, is short-sighted and demonstrates a clear lack of concern for future generations. 

Fifth, it’s deplorable to care about no one—not even yourself–during a pandemic and refuse to comply with recommended CDC guidelines. It’s been proven, without a doubt, that motorcycle rallies, political rallies, campus bar hopping, and massive beach parties are super-spreader events. Shortly after each of these activities major COVID spikes have occurred.  By being cavalier about your own behavior, you can spread the virus to others who may be much more vulnerable than you.     

Sixth, it’s deplorable that we have not progressed further in implementing reasonable gun control legislation that keeps guns out of the hands of criminals and those suffering with mental illnesses. It is possible to do so and still protect second amendment rights. Because of the lack of vision and leadership on this issue, thousands of innocent people have died.  

Finally, it’s “deplorable” for politicians to capitalize on the prejudices or lack of understanding of some voters by playing on these deficiencies to their own benefit. Examples of this strategy include such statements as; Mexicans are taking your jobs. They are rapists. Democrats want to turn America into a Socialist country.  It will be like Venezuela, etc.   

Maya Angelou once said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” 

We know that separating children from their parents is wrong. We know that making sexist, racist, and homophobic comments is wrong. We know that continuing to pollute our environment and not taking proper remediation efforts is wrong. We know that putting other people’s health in jeopardy is wrong. We know that allowing dangerous people to own firearms is wrong. And we know that feeding on people’s prejudices solely for our own benefit is wrong.

As a nation, we know better and we should do better. We can set an example. We can be a beacon of hope. We can push reset and try again.

Maria Grant served as Principal-in-Charge of the Federal Human Capital practice of Deloitte Consulting. Since her retirement, she has focused on writing, music, reading, travel, gardening and nature.