Letter to Editor: Talk with our neighbors

I am a mental health therapist in Talbot County and am looking for ways to connect with the community and facilitate community cohesiveness in the face of ongoing tribalism and division.  I am interested in sharing ideas and commentary geared towards stitching the fabric of a divided society back together at the local level.

I am a 21-year veteran of the US Air Force, where I served as a firefighter. I served at Loring AFB, ME between 1988 and 1994, Dover AFB, DE 1994-1996, Kunsan AB, RoK 1996-7, and Dover AFB again from 1997 – 2009. I deployed 5 times as well over that span to Kuwait, Kyrghyzstan twice, the United Arab Emirates, and Afghanistan. After I retired, I served another three years as a federal firefighter at Dover AFB while I attended Salisbury University, obtaining my Bachelor’s in Social Work and my Masters in Social Work. I have been a psychotherapist since 2014, specializing primarily in trauma and some work in addictions.  I have worked mainly with individuals but at times also with group therapy.  This work has occurred at Eastern Shore Psychological Services and Peace of Mind Mental Health Services, both here in Easton. I also have a small private practice.

I  have watched over the last 9-10 years as our society, nationally, has become divided against itself. And while I cannot alter much of anything broadly, I can no longer sit on the sidelines and watch as our nation (and our community) is torn apart. I CAN work in my community to facilitate unity in hopes that this may encourage other nearby communities to join in an effort to re-establish a mindset that we are all in this together. We are not well served by the kind of rhetoric we see in broader media, social media, in online forums and so forth. It is critically important, in my view, that we stop seeing those we disagree with (because they voted for the person with a (D) or and (R) behind their name) as enemies…and get back to a more cohesive sense of community where we all have some recognition that we ARE “in this together”. So, the person on the side of the road with a flat tire and Harris/Walz bumper sticker might have some small expectation that the guy with the pickup truck and Trump flag might actually lend a hand, or vice versa.

We all have very strong opinions about the recent election. But if we remain as divided…and oppositional as we have been these last many years, our way of life will not be long for this world. Foreign adversaries are already using electronic media to divide us. Legacy media too often, has ceased to report who, what , when and where due to the 24 hour news cycle. And in the interests of winning the ratings battle, these same media entities have hijacked our nervous systems by pumping out anxiety and/or anger provoking content because anxious/angry people tend to stay tuned so as not to be surprised in nasty ways. Our politicians have similarly used this concept to influence how we vote…on emotion over facts…especially as the number of issues increases and because of our busy working and family lives, we do not have the time to sift through volumes of information.

I propose that we all buck the trend.  Look after your neighbors, regardless of their political persuasion…and ACTIVELY resist efforts that seek to profit from our divisions. At the local level, we must talk with our neighbors, especially those who disagree politically and find our common interests again, seek the common ground in the values that we share. I believe we all share far more than what we disagree on…and reconnect with our neighbors. The anxiety that we have all felt will be reduced by obtaining a sense of agency over what feels like a monolithic force that we have no control over. Our community is worth this. Our country was founded on it. We can all achieve this…..with dignity and respect for ALL people….with the mindful, intentional effort to exercise compassion even when we feel offended.  THIS is who we are. THIS is what we have insisted that America is about. Let’s take it back.